At my six-week postpartum checkup, my doctor asked if I had any questions. What I wanted to ask was: “When will I feel like myself again? When will I stop feeling so overwhelmed and angry? When will I have energy for anything beyond basic survival?”
Instead, I asked: “When can I start trying to lose the baby weight?”
Because that’s what I’d been conditioned to believe postpartum health meant—a number on the scale, fitting back into old clothes, “getting my body back.” It took me months to realize I’d been asking the wrong question entirely.
If you’re defining postpartum health by weight loss, you’re missing what actually matters: rebuilding your mental health, restoring your physical capacity, and redefining yourself in this new identity. Let’s talk about what real postpartum health looks like—and it has nothing to do with the scale.
Why Weight-Focused Goals Fail Postpartum
The postpartum weight loss industry is built on a lie: that your health and worth are determined by how quickly you return to your pre-pregnancy weight. This narrative is not only psychologically damaging—it’s medically misguided.
Weight doesn’t measure what matters most postpartum:
- It doesn’t tell you if you’re sleeping enough
- It doesn’t measure your mental health
- It doesn’t reflect your pelvic floor function
- It doesn’t indicate whether you have the energy to care for yourself and your baby
- It doesn’t show if you’re healing properly
- It doesn’t measure your relationship satisfaction or support system
Weight-focused goals often conflict with actual health:
- Restricting calories while breastfeeding can affect milk supply and nutritional needs
- Focusing on weight loss increases stress hormones, which worsens postpartum mood disorders
- Pressure to lose weight quickly can lead to overexercise before your body has healed
- Diet culture messaging increases body shame, which is linked to postpartum depression
Your body is supposed to change: Weight retention postpartum isn’t a failure—it’s often your body storing reserves for the enormous energy demands of caring for an infant, producing milk (if breastfeeding), and recovering from pregnancy and birth.
The question isn’t “how do I lose weight?” It’s “what does health actually look like for me right now?”
Redefining Postpartum Health
Real postpartum health is multidimensional, personalized, and has nothing to do with fitting into pre-pregnancy jeans. Here’s what it actually encompasses:
Mental and Emotional Health
This is the foundation. If you’re not mentally well, nothing else matters. Postpartum mental health includes:
- Managing (or recovering from) postpartum depression, anxiety, or rage
- Processing your birth experience
- Navigating identity changes during matrescence
- Building emotional resilience for the demands of parenting
- Accessing support when you need it
Goal examples:
- “I want to feel less anxious and more present with my baby”
- “I want to process my difficult birth experience with a therapist”
- “I want to identify and manage triggers for postpartum rage“
- “I want to spend 10 minutes daily journaling through my identity shifts“
Physical Recovery and Function
True physical health postpartum means your body can do what you need it to do without pain or dysfunction:
- Pelvic floor recovery (no leaking, no prolapse symptoms, no pain)
- Core strength and stability
- Energy for daily activities
- Pain-free movement
- Healed birth injuries
- Manageable (not debilitating) discomfort
Goal examples:
- “I want to be able to pick up my baby without back pain”
- “I want to sneeze without worrying about leaking urine”
- “I want to walk for 20 minutes without exhaustion”
- “I want my diastasis recti properly assessed and supported”
- “I want to address my painful sex so intimacy can be pleasurable again”
Sleep and Energy
Sleep deprivation is one of the most significant health challenges postpartum, yet it’s rarely prioritized in “health goals.” Quality sleep affects everything—mood, immune function, decision-making, emotional regulation, and physical recovery.
Goal examples:
- “I want to get at least one 4-hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep per night”
- “I want to ask for help so I can nap twice a week”
- “I want to feel energized enough to engage with my baby, not just survive”
- “I want to address my insomnia with a healthcare provider”
Nutrition That Supports You
Nutrition postpartum isn’t about restriction or weight loss—it’s about fueling your body for the enormous demands placed on it.
Goal examples:
- “I want to eat regular meals instead of just grazing on crackers”
- “I want to keep easy, nourishing snacks accessible throughout the day”
- “I want to drink enough water to support breastfeeding and my energy”
- “I want to release guilt about food choices and focus on adequacy”
- “I want to eat foods that make me feel good, not punish my body”
Relationship Health
Your relationships significantly impact your health. Postpartum is a time of intense relationship strain and opportunity for growth.
Goal examples:
- “I want to reconnect with my partner through weekly check-ins”
- “I want to divide the mental load more fairly with my partner”
- “I want to set boundaries with grandparents without guilt”
- “I want to build authentic friendships with other parents”
- “I want to ask for help without apologizing”
Joyful Movement
Movement for health looks very different than movement for weight loss. Gentle movement postpartum supports mental health, rebuilds capacity, and reconnects you with your body.
Goal examples:
- “I want to move my body in ways that feel good, not punishing”
- “I want to take daily walks because they help my mood”
- “I want to dance in my kitchen when I feel joyful”
- “I want to rebuild core and pelvic floor strength safely”
- “I want to release the pressure to exercise and only move when I genuinely want to”
Medical Care and Advocacy
Postpartum health requires adequate medical support, yet many people’s concerns are dismissed or minimized.
Goal examples:
- “I want to advocate for proper evaluation of my postpartum symptoms”
- “I want to find a healthcare provider who takes my concerns seriously”
- “I want to get screened for postpartum mood disorders”
- “I want my thyroid checked (postpartum thyroiditis is common and often missed)”
- “I want to see a pelvic floor physical therapist”
Autonomy and Identity
Maintaining a sense of self separate from motherhood is essential for long-term wellbeing.
Goal examples:
- “I want to spend 30 minutes per week on a hobby I enjoy”
- “I want to maintain one aspect of my pre-baby identity (my career/creative practice/friendship)”
- “I want to explore who I’m becoming as a person, not just as a parent”
- “I want to make decisions about my body without others’ input or judgment”
How to Set Meaningful Postpartum Health Goals
1. Start With Feelings, Not Outcomes
Instead of “I want to lose 30 pounds,” ask: “How do I want to feel?”
Common answers:
- “I want to feel energized and present”
- “I want to feel strong enough to carry my baby without pain”
- “I want to feel less anxious and more confident”
- “I want to feel connected to my body instead of disconnected”
- “I want to feel supported in my relationships”
These feeling-based goals guide you toward what actually matters to you, not what diet culture tells you should matter.
2. Use the “Why” Test
For any health goal, ask “why?” five times to get to the real motivation.
Example: “I want to lose weight.” Why? “So I can fit into my old clothes.” Why? “So I feel like myself again.” Why? “Because I feel disconnected from who I used to be.” Why? “Because my identity has completely changed and I don’t know who I am anymore.” Why does that matter? “Because I want to feel like I still exist as a person, not just as someone’s mother.”
The real goal: Reconnecting with your identity and sense of self. Weight loss won’t solve that.
3. Make Goals Specific and Actionable
Vague goals don’t lead to change. Transform feelings into concrete actions.
Vague: “I want to feel better” Specific: “I want to schedule a postpartum depression screening and start therapy if recommended”
Vague: “I want to be healthier” Specific: “I want to take a 15-minute walk four days per week because it improves my mood”
Vague: “I want to take care of myself” Specific: “I want to ask my partner to take over bedtime twice a week so I can have uninterrupted time to rest or do something I enjoy”
4. Consider Your Season
What’s achievable at 6 weeks postpartum is different from 6 months, which is different from 16 months. Your goals should match your current season, not where you “should” be.
Early postpartum (0-3 months): Focus on: Survival, basic recovery, establishing feeding, identifying mood disorders, getting help
Mid postpartum (3-9 months): Focus on: Rebuilding capacity, addressing persistent issues, establishing sustainable routines, reconnecting with partner
Late postpartum (9+ months): Focus on: Integration of identity, pursuit of personal goals, addressing long-term relationship dynamics, exploring who you’re becoming
5. Include Support in Your Goals
Individual goals often fail because they don’t account for support needs. Build support into the goal itself.
Without support: “I want to exercise three times per week” With support: “I want to arrange childcare swaps with another parent so I can move my body twice a week”
Without support: “I want to sleep better” With support: “I want to talk with my partner about creating sleep shifts so I get one 4-hour block of uninterrupted sleep every other night”
Sample Postpartum Health Goal Sets
Here are examples of comprehensive, non-weight-focused postpartum health goals:
Set 1: Mental Health Focus
- Get screened for postpartum depression and start therapy if recommended
- Practice one 5-minute breathing exercise daily to manage anxiety
- Journal for 10 minutes three times per week about identity changes
- Ask for help from at least two people this month instead of trying to do everything alone
- Identify three activities that help regulate my nervous system and do one daily
Set 2: Physical Recovery Focus
- Schedule appointment with pelvic floor physical therapist
- Work with PT to address leaking and core weakness
- Walk 10-15 minutes four times per week because it helps my mood and energy
- Eat three meals plus snacks daily (fuel, not restrict)
- Get thyroid and iron levels checked at next appointment
Set 3: Relationship and Support Focus
- Implement weekly 30-minute “state of the union” check-ins with partner
- Work through mental load audit with partner and redistribute domains
- Set three boundaries with grandparents using scripts
- Say no to one social obligation that drains me
- Find one mom friend I can be authentic with, not performative
Set 4: Integration and Identity Focus
- Spend one hour per week on creative practice or hobby
- Write about who I’m becoming, not who I was
- Make one decision about my career/education/future
- Stop apologizing for prioritizing my needs
- Explore what kind of parent I want to be, not what others expect
Tracking Progress Without a Scale
If you’re used to using weight as your progress marker, you’ll need new metrics:
Energy levels: Do you have more energy throughout the day? Can you engage with your baby without feeling depleted?
Mood and emotional regulation: Are you experiencing fewer rage episodes or depressive symptoms? Do you feel more emotionally stable?
Physical function: Can you do daily activities without pain? Have you noticed improvements in strength, endurance, or mobility?
Relationship satisfaction: Do you feel more connected to your partner? Are conflicts decreasing? Do you feel supported?
Sleep quality: Are you getting more continuous sleep? Do you feel more rested?
Sense of self: Do you feel more integrated in your identity? Less lost or confused about who you are?
Joy and presence: Do you experience moments of genuine joy? Can you be present rather than just surviving?
These metrics measure actual health and wellbeing, not just a number that fluctuates based on water retention, time of day, and countless other factors that have nothing to do with health.
When Weight Loss Happens (Or Doesn’t)
Some bodies naturally return to pre-pregnancy weight. Some retain 10-15 pounds permanently. Some lose weight while breastfeeding; others don’t lose weight until after weaning. Some bodies change shape even if weight returns to “normal.”
All of these outcomes are normal and don’t determine your health.
If weight loss happens as a side effect of supporting your mental health, moving joyfully, eating adequately, and getting more sleep—great. But it shouldn’t be the goal, because:
Weight loss doesn’t fix:
- Postpartum depression or anxiety
- Relationship strain
- Identity confusion
- Lack of support
- Pelvic floor dysfunction
- Exhaustion
- Disconnection from your body
The things that improve those issues (therapy, support, rest, appropriate movement, good nutrition, boundary-setting) sometimes result in weight loss and sometimes don’t. But they improve your life regardless.
Handling External Pressure
You’ll face constant messaging that postpartum health equals weight loss:
- Social media ads for postpartum weight loss programs
- Comments from family members about “getting your body back”
- Comparison to other parents who “bounced back”
- Healthcare providers focusing on weight instead of holistic health
- Cultural narratives that your worth is tied to your size
Responses you can use: “I’m focusing on my mental health and recovery right now, not weight loss.” “My health goals are personal and not up for discussion.” “I’m defining health by how I feel, not how I look.” “My body grew and birthed a human. I’m grateful for what it can do.” “That’s not the kind of support I need right now.”
You can also curate your environment:
- Unfollow accounts that promote postpartum weight loss
- Follow body-positive, Health At Every Size content creators
- Decline conversations about weight and diet
- Remove your scale if it triggers anxiety
- Find healthcare providers who practice weight-inclusive care
The Permission You Need
You have permission to:
- Never lose the “baby weight” and still be healthy
- Define health in ways that have nothing to do with appearance
- Prioritize mental health over physical appearance
- Take years (or forever) to feel “back to normal”
- Reject the narrative that your postpartum body is a problem to fix
- Focus on function over form
- Change your goals as your needs and season change
- Not have health goals at all if you’re just trying to survive right now
What Really Matters
Ten years from now, you won’t remember your weight six months postpartum. You’ll remember:
- Whether you felt supported or alone
- Whether you advocated for your needs or suffered in silence
- Whether you treated your body with care or punishment
- Whether you built a sustainable foundation or burned out trying to meet impossible standards
- Whether you gave yourself grace or held yourself to toxic expectations
The health goals you set now shape not just your body, but your entire experience of early parenthood and your long-term relationship with yourself.
Choose goals that honor your whole self—your mental health, your recovery, your relationships, your identity, your future. Choose goals that make you feel more like yourself, not less. Choose goals that support your life, not consume it.
The scale can’t measure any of that. And that’s exactly the point.
Need Help Defining Your Postpartum Health Goals?
If you’re struggling to shift from weight-focused to holistic health goals, or if you need support creating a sustainable postpartum wellness plan that honors your unique needs, I’m here to help.
Book a session with me to explore what health and wellbeing truly mean for you during this season, free from diet culture messaging and external pressure.
Want to explore movement as self-care rather than punishment? Read: Gentle Movement: Exercise for Mental Health, Not Weight Loss, Postpartum
Struggling with identity alongside body image concerns? Check out: Journaling for Matrescence: Prompts to Navigate Identity Loss and Change
